Competition wizard Published this article page no 48 “And now that I’ve had you in my arms, how can I settle for just seeing you naked? I want to kiss you and hold you and – you know.” “We can do everything except, you know.” He held up his funny money. “I have $250 left. How much can I get for that?” “Oh, Todd, you say the nicest things,” she effervesced. “I mean it,” he confirmed. “You can kiss me – and I won’t even watch the clock.” “Take it,” he said, handing her the funny money, “take it all.” She did, and he became lost in her wildly extravagant arms.While The Theory of Evolution has received numerous challenges since Darwin proposed it, none seems to have taken the scientific community with such devastating surprise as the theory recently proposed by a French Chef from Bordeaux. The Chef, Andre Dumier, who operates a One Star Michelin restaurant just outside the city of Bordeaux, advanced the theory after contemplating what he considers the first requirement in the various stages of evolution – the availability of food. We were fortunate in being able to arrange an exclusive Newslaugh interview. The complete text follows. NewsLaugh: We understand you have proposed a radical revision of Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. Would you please explain your theory? Dumier: But, of course, monsieur. The great flaw in Darwin’s Theory is that he puts Natural Selection before the existence of food to select. NewsLaugh: Say, that’s interesting. Can you elaborate? Dumier: It is my pleasure to do so. To me his Theory of Evolution does not make a primary place for the absolute necessity of food. Let me explain. Do you think the fish evolved in the ocean before there was plankton for them to dine on? Of course, not. They would have starved! And, if they could not survive, how could you have Survival of the Fittest? NewsLaugh: Do you have an alternate theory to propose? Dumier: Oui, monsieur. Survival of the Fullest. To my mind, it is the more correct idea. NewsLaugh: Yes, we can see your point. How do you account for the fact that animals eventually emerged from the sea and populated the land? Dumier: Think for yourself! Do you suppose they would have crawled out onto the land if there was no food waiting for them? No, no! They went up onto the land because they knew there was food there, just waiting for them to bite into and enjoy! NewsLaugh: May we ask how they found out it was there? Dumier: Well, I wasn’t present at the time, but I will tell you my thought. Some food got blown into the water, no doubt a delectable plant or so. Perhaps a legume. Maybe during a rainstorm a truffle got washed in. These primitive fish took a taste. They liked it and wanted more.bulls? Because they like bulls? No, because they were thinking about steak for dinner! But, actually, food is only the more primitive aspect of my theory. NewsLaugh: Please, elaborate. Dumier: When the Neanderthals or some earlier hominids discovered fire, what do you think is the first thing they thought of, eh? Voila! Now we can cook our food! No more raw meat for us. So they began to roast and broil! Do you know how different that is? Homo sapiens is the only creature who cooks his food! Fish can’t cook in the water, because if they try to boil it they get poached. And can you imagine, for example, foxes gathered around a fire, roasting a rack of lamb? No, cooking is purely an aspect of human behavior. NewsLaugh: Yes, that’s true. But certainly there’s more to the evolution of man – and woman – than food? Dumier: Of course, of coursz wizard magazine buy.
